Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
