I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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