I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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