elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
