Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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