no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
honey bunches of taint.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
