Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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