god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
