nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
