my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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