I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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