I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
