She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
