Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
