not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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