Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
They have beer where we have blood.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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