Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
being pregnant is like rehab
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
