dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Randomize
