Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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