If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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