Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
