sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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