Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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