erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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