she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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