i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
