I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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