Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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