Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
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I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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