Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
