yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
