I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
its not stalking. its research.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
