VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
