you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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