vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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