Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize