I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
