yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize