i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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