YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
