Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
