my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
