everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
