HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
