Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
