So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
