Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
