Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
