Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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