You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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