I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
