I wanna passion pit in your ass
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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