The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
