Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
