hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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