what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
