U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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