hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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