she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
