Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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