i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
