No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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