is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize