She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize