i wish my penis had a tongue
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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