If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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