She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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