i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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