I need help removing her.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
