In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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