Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
50% drunk capacity currently
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
