So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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